That’s a lot of miscarriages. Bellow is the second of a 4-part-series I wrote about the early miscarriage I experienced last month. One of the main reasons I wrote this series was to help relieve some of the stigma surrounding miscarriage. So many couples go through this in one way or another, but it is so rarely spoken about. Most women I have spoken to about their experiences with miscarriages say that they had no idea what to expect once they realized they were going to have a miscarriage. Some were also not well informed about their options and later regretted the choice they made. I hope that this series will help women know some of the possible outcomes they can expect, as well as realize that they are not alone.
A woman needs to take extra good care of her body after a miscarriage. Her hormones are readjusting and her body is vulnerable. It’s important for a woman after a miscarriage to eat nourishing healthy foods as well as drink lots of fluids. One of my favorite authors is Aviva Jill Romm, MD. In The Natural Pregnancy Book she provides wonderful advice as well as recipes for all aspects of pregnancy. Her book is one of my favorite gifts to give to expecting mothers. Below is her recipe for “Women’s Nourishment Tea”, which she recommends to drink 3-4 times a day for 6 weeks after a miscarriage. I found it very helpful to have something to do for myself when I was feeling down emotionally, or physically tired and drained. It helped me to know that I was taking care of myself by putting on the hot water, adding it to the herbs, and then by sipping on the warming, nourishing tea. I highly recommend that you find a store that sells high quality herbs and make this mixture ahead of time. Then save it in a large zip-lock bag and label it. The herbs in it promote a healthy reproductive system, and help regulate the menstrual cycle. They are a wonderfully nourishing tea for women in all parts of their cycle.
Women’s Nourishment Tea
Mix ½ ounce each of:
Red raspberry leaf,
And 1/8 ounce of:
Place ½ ounce of mixture into a jar.
Add 2 c. boiling water, and steep for 2 hours.
Strain and drink ¼- ½ cups 3-4 times a day.
Alternately, steep 1 Tbsp. in 1 c. boiling water for 15 minutes and drink.
Healing emotionally from a miscarriage is often more complex than the physical aspects of recovery. Each woman’s miscarriage is unique, as is her relationship with her partner, her emotional response to the miscarriage, and her general life circumstances. In my own experience I was able to heal from my miscarriage without professional help, but if anyone does need professional help please do not feel bad about it and do not hesitate to get the help you need. There are plenty of times I have needed professional help and greatly benefited from therapy. In fact, I love therapy. I have always found it wonderful to have a dedicated time and place to go to have “me time” to process my life and heal my wounds.
For my husband and myself we have been swamped, stressed and overwhelmed by many aspects of our lives in the past year. The pregnancy of our fourth child was certainly adding to all of the other stressors in our lives. When the miscarriage came we both felt a mixture or grief, relief and guilt. My grief was accompanied with feelings of emptiness, confusion, uncertainty, loss, incompetence, and overall powerlessness. Over the years I have learned that I grieve incrementally. I usually feel relatively neutral when the initial event happens, and once I have had time to allow the truth to sink in, then I have emotional waves at times when I feel safe to express them. This is often when I get to be alone, with my husband, in the shower, or while praying privately.
The feelings I listed above, grief, guilt, loss, emptiness, confusion, and even relief, are all normal for many couples to experience with a miscarriage. Whatever your feelings are, please know that they are okay and you have good reason to feel them. Do your best to be gentle with yourself and with your partner. Remember that with some things in life, we simply cannot know the answer to ‘why’. We can only look forward and persevere to what comes next and to where we are going now.
Stay tuned for these upcoming articles to three more herbal tea recipes that can help with general anxiety, stress, and emotional upset. If you like sipping on hot herbal teas, I highly recommend that you build your own supply of loose herbs and herb mixtures, so that you have an easy tool for self-nourishment any time of the day.